THE LIVER BIRDSIt is impossible to talk about WSM without mentioning the contribution of all those wonderful girls from Liverpool – the original ‘girls next door ’.For this I need to go back to the very beginning, long before encountering Eve and Melanie, and my first ever meeting with Mike at a restaurant in Stoke-on-Trent. He asked to meet me as he had heard of my reputation as Professor of Slapstick and he felt that I would be a valuable asset to his organisation. What I did not expect was that he would bring a girl to the meeting – a tall, sultry, willowy young girl named Rachel. “ You’ll never guess what we’ve been doing all day ” he said cheerfully, “ I’ve been taking photos of Rachel frolicking in the mud on Ainsdale beach ! ”. I glanced at Rachel and she winked at me and she gave a little shudder remembering the delightful day she had spent wallowing in the warm, all embracing mud and getting completely covered in the thick, cloying ooze. We chatted together over our meal and I, naturally, asked Rachel if she had ever done any slapstick sessions for Mike. She hadn’t but said that it sounded like something she would very much enjoy, so Mike suggested that I come to his studio to instruct her. A few weeks later saw me making the first of what were to be many trips to Liverpool. Rachel had brought a friend of hers along, Shirley. Shirley was the opposite of Rachel; slightly shorter, waist length blonde hair and a cheeky grin. When Rachel had told Shirley what she was up to she wanted to be in on it too. In the early days the scenarios were fairly predictable so Rachel was to be a clumsy waitress and Shirley a customer. Rachel wore a very tight satin waitress uniform so short that it barely covered her black stocking tops. It started with Shirley ‘accidentally dropping something’ and when Rachel bent down to pick it up her uniform rode right up and we saw her satin panties. The flash of those virginal white satin panties was too tempting for Shirley to resist and she took the opportunity to tip a can of mushroom soup into them and to spank her – hard. As the scene unfolded I had to stop them and give advice. I demonstrated on Rachel so that Shirley could learn the technique and then I demonstrated on Shirley. Rachel, who had very short dark hair decided to attack Shirley’s very long blonde hair with everything she could find and very soon Shirley could hardly move as she had several kilos of gunge in her hair.. so she decided to pull Rachel’s uniform off – well, why not ! When Shirley had her own dress ripped off Mike had them both smearing food all over each others young bodies. After playing with each other in the goo for a while they then looked for something else to do. Now I was only there to instruct but they decided that I needed to be dragged into the mess, so they did. And so it carried on. Mike released only the pics of them – not me. [ Ed – This is image set S026 with 107 images ] Rachel and Shirley had so much fun that they did it all over again a few weeks later in a paddling pool of chocolate sauce when Rachel wore her own very smart blue cotton outfit and Shirley also wore her own clothes when she decided it would be fun to wreck her yellow top as well as her red & white mini skirt. Once again Shirley’s head was a prime target for Rachel who must have massaged about five litres of the black, oily chocolate into Shirley’s elegant, waist length blonde hair. I know it took hours to try to wash it out when they had finished their exhausting session. Their clothes were, of course, fit only for the bin together with all of their underwear – shame really! Mike was pleased that I had taught them so well and I made sure that, this time, I was far enough away not to get pulled into the pool by them. [ Ed – This is image set S024 which was last reviewed on 22 February 2013 with 5 sample shots and 196 images ] Mike was impressed with my expert knowledge and my teaching skills so I was invited back again and again. WSM has other tastes to cater for; namely the Wet and Mud genres, and he used to start girls off with easy Wet Look sessions and then asked if they would like to get messy – all of them did and so we had a succession of delectable girls all wanting to have messy fun. Many of the WSM girls had told their friends and there was a steady stream of young girls needing me to teach them the art of slapstick. There were too many to list here but I’ll mention just a few of the more notable ones. I particularly remember the unfortunate Wedding session with me as the groom marrying the luscious Elaine who wore her wedding dress over white accessories – well she would wouldn’t she? She brought two friends along to get messy with her, one of whom was a girl who would go on to do further slapstick sessions and appear in several of the videos – Suzanne – who wore her bridesmaid’s dress. It was the first time I had met Suzanne and we instantly hit it off. She made it very clear that she was up for anything and that she was relying on me to give her a very sticky and messy experience. I started cautiously but she soon upped the ante and wanted me to smear everything everywhere, and she made me pay special attention to her ample, naturally firm boobs. Elaine's other friend was Yvonne who dressed up very smartly as a guest but who got a bit upset when I tipped a full catering sized tub of golden syrup over her long black hair which, as it cascaded down her body, also had the effect of making her cream lacy suit go transparent. I don’t think she expected to get her hair messy! Her jacket and skirt became so transparent that we could easily see her underwear through them. It got worse when I poured a huge jug of raspberry sauce over Elaine’s head and rubbed it into her dress and up her white stockinged legs. She didn’t mind that at all but there was so much of the red sauce that the pictures make the whole event look like a blood bath! The girls told the ‘groom’ to push off and continued to have some girly slapstick fun in a torrid, gooey threesome stripping each other down to their panties. The other reason that I described the wedding as unfortunate is that the processors lost the first reel of film so there is no record of any of us in a clean state at the beginning. [ Ed. Yes film – this was long before digital cameras ! ] Suzanne Suzanne absolutely relished slapstick and wanted to get messier and messier every time we met and I didn’t disappoint her. She adored the messy sessions and loved all of her own clothes getting destroyed and the feel of sticky goo being rubbed all over her. It was with Suzanne that I played out many slapstick scenes, often plastering her with new stuff that we had never tried before such as black treacle and dark chocolate sauce. She never cared that her hair was wrecked and she always insisted that I paid attention to her ample breasts when I was dishing out the goo. She was in her element. She especially adored dressing up in fantasy outfits, especially as a schoolgirl and many crisp white school blouses, white school knickers and short black skirts were ruined not to mention a few ‘naughty nurse’ and some eye-popping maids outfits. You will certainly remember Suzanne as the curvaceous secretary to my character, Mr. Roper, in the first ever WSM film - Vintage Film 1…. ‘The Hopeful Starlet’ - when, as part of the story, I had to instruct Margie, who played the title role, in the art of slapstick using Suzanne to demonstrate on. I began the lesson by shoving several pies into Suzanne’s pretty face and then instructing Margie to do the same. Suzanne squealed when I pulled her pencil skirt right up to reveal her red panties into which I poured a tin of cold custard. Sadly, when it was Margie’s turn to try it, she got it wrong so I had to show her what to do yet again, having to pour a third tin of the creamy yellow slop into Suzanne’s panties. Who’d have thought it would be so hard to teach someone how to fill a girls panties with custard? As all the excess custard was flowing down Suzanne’s legs and into her high heeled shoes I just had to rub it all into her pale blue mesh stockings and, again, I made Margie do the same – well, the girl had to learn. Of course we had to ensure that we meticulously smeared the custard all the way up her legs to her stocking tops and beyond to her firm, enticing thighs. The next lesson of pouring custard into the cups of Suzanne’s bra and massaging her boobs was a demonstration only. I carefully undid Suzanne’s blue blouse to reveal her well filled bra. There was no need for Margie to participate – I made sure that my demonstration was thorough enough and long enough for Margie get the idea. Suzanne later asked why Margie didn’t join in and why didn’t we both massage her boobs with the cool custard together; one each perhaps? – an opportunity missed there. Just as Suzanne thought I had finished the lesson I produced an already opened catering sized tin of blackcurrant pie filling, which I had hidden from everyone before the filming started, and tipped the entire contents over her blonde hair when she was facing the other way. It streamed down her face, over her custard covered boobs, down her skirt and legs into her custard filled shoes. “What’s that!” she exclaimed in genuine surprise. Then, because I was a bit slow in rubbing it into her boobs, she did it herself. Hmmm. Another opportunity missed! That scene finished with Suzanne, still fully clothed – albeit with her blouse undone and her skirt up round her waist – under a steamy shower trying to get clean. She didn’t stay fully clothed for long as she stripped off her sodden blouse and her drenched skirt so she could wash the custard out of her panties and bra. In a final effort to get cleaned up she squirted the entire contents of a very large pack of shower gel all over her wet dripping body and ......... You’ve got to see the film – it’s still available. [ Ed. This is available – Vintage Film 1: The Hopeful Starlet Stream 4 ] Suzanne teamed up with her gal-pal Elaine (my ‘bride’) again, and this time both were dressed up as very attractive schoolgirls and I do mean very attractive. It was meant to be a wet set (no slapstick) with me as a handyman fixing their broken shower. We all got completely soaked as you might expect and I became aroused as their sopping uniforms became glued to their hot bodies, mainly because they had chosen not to wear bras under their blouses. Naughty! I had to pull Suzanne’s skirt up to drench her panties with the shower attachment but what I didn’t know was that she had deliberately selected panties which would become completely see-through when wet. When they both conspired to pull my trousers down my bulge was quite evident especially when it was their turn to train the shower on me. I was just about under control until they produced a gigantic bottle of liquid soap. These little minxes knew just how to make me excited and they easily had me throbbing. Mike was snapping away as usual and some very raunchy photos were in the album that day – not for publication! Just as I thought I was about to have some soapy fun with them they decided that it would be far more fun without me so they booted me out – what a let down ! An excellent photo set though and two very clean girls. . [ Ed. This naughty wet scene is image set W120 ] More of Suzanne later. Margie and Carol Margie was a down to earth Liverpudlian who was also up for anything. During the studio sessions with me teaching her, she was always determined to get her own back in messy retaliation and we had a lot of sticky fun together. I fondly recall a brilliant studio session with Margie and Carol. [ Ed. Image set S038 ] Carol was Debbie’s friend and Margie, Carol and I had an unforgettable session with chocolate sauce – a lot of chocolate sauce. Carol wore a purple dress and Margie was in green. At the same time that I was filling Carol’s panties with the gloopy chocolate Margie pulled my trousers down and was doing the same to me! . When I eased Margie's pert breasts from their bra and massaged them with custard Carol was doing it to me. (No – I haven’t got breasts but you know what I mean! ). I tore Carol’s dripping panties off not thinking that Margie would dare to do it to me ..... but she was afraid of nothing and soon all three of us were naked and frolicking about on the floor in the mess. More pics for our personal album. Margie then starred in WSM 1 – “The Hopeful Starlet” (WSM’s very first film) as the wife of Mr. Roper’s twin, but useless, brother. He was a boorish prat who thought that any sex was a waste of time, let alone slapstick sex, so Margie tried to get some messy fun at her Brother-in-law’s film studio where she hoped he would give her a part in his next slapstick film. Despite her best efforts to convince him, (remember the training I recalled with Suzanne in the paragraphs above?) she does not get a part in his film but un-expectantly ends up getting messy when she returns home. She resorts to tipping her lazy husband’s dinner over his head before he, reluctantly, takes any interest. She shows him that slapstick is fun and pretty soon he is well in there giving her what she craves – not such a prat after all! If you haven’t seen Vintage Film 1 yet, why not ? – it’s a classic. [ Ed. See Online Store for write-up and Download prices. ] Carol also went on to have several more studio and outdoor sessions, one of the finest being a messy bondage set in which she was roped to a bed, legs spread out and being ‘tortured’ because she was Jane Pond – spy. Wearing a glitzy pink silk dress over black stockings and shoes, and sheer white panties, her evil torturer subjected her to several messy indignities to try to force her to talk. Custard, rice pudding and syrup were poured over her writhing body but still she didn’t talk. Yanking her dress down to uncover her bare tits, so that cold rice pudding could be splatted onto them, made no difference. She was powerless to prevent me ( yes I was the ‘evil torturer’ ! ) from pulling her dress right up and pouring syrup on one stockinged leg, slowly drizzling it up her leg until the flow spread onto her thigh. Custard went on the other leg in the same manner but still no secrets were divulged so there was nothing for it but to get out the eggs! I placed these deep inside her panties, shells and all, and I squidged the slimey, eggy mixture about – surely she would talk now! Meanwhile she had managed to release her hands and sit up. Before she could escape I was forced to take drastic action so I tipped a bucket of very thick and cloying chocolate sauce over her pretty head and long, dark hair but not even this could make her talk – in fact she was licking her lips ! It was almost as if she was relishing the torture! I had to admit defeat and let her go. But Carol was enjoying herself too much to consider escaping. She wiped the chocolate from her eyes and reached into her eggy panties to get the scratchy shells out. Then she scooped up a handful of the chocolate sauce and plunged it into her dripping panties. She then spent some quality time thoroughly mixing it with the yellow eggy slime; her fingers conscientiously squidging the goo about inside her once virginal white panties. Some of the gloop began to seep out and trickle down her thighs but she simply scooped it up with her hand, slipped it all back into her wrecked panties and fingered herself some more. Carol was completely oblivious to the fact that we were all watching. She finished herself off by seductively rubbing the syrup and custard up and down her stockinged legs and thighs whilst moaning softly. This set was so good that Bill had to have it for SPLOSH! Magazine (he published an actual printed magazine in those days – collector’s items now) and he featured it in a grand centre spread. You don’t see me (fortunately) just my hands! [ Ed – This classic set was, sadly, not a video – just images and all of the pictures now belong to Splosh! To see them go to the Splosh! Website and contact Bill. He published 24 great pictures in the centre spread. I believe that a few issue of that Splosh! Magazine (Issue 8) are still available. ] But you can see the original movie version of Carol in ‘The Spy who Gunged Me’ running 8 minutes if you download Stream 6 from Vintage Film 6 Mucky Kind of Magic. Carol also had some soggy fun with Debbie when they were on a walk one hot summers day – so hot that they simply had to cool off by jumping, fully clothed, into a handy trough of water resulting in see through blouses and glistening stockings. They splashed and dunked each other for several minutes until an irate farmer chased them off (was he daft or what?). [ Ed – This is WSM 2 – ‘ The Great Outdoors ‘ Stream 3 ‘Bath in a Meadow’. See Online Store. ] The gang were schoolgirls in WSM 2 too and they plunged into a river, played with each other in a bath full of cherry pie filling, had a dramatic food fight and wallowed in deep, thick ( and smelly ) mud together with their ill-fated teacher Miss Autey. All this took days to film, destroyed numerous sexy school uniforms and many sets of virginal white underwear not to mention stockings and shoes. Debbie's impressive boobs were always a favourite target for the other girls. Other unforgettable girls from the WSM stable who I successfully taught were Mary and Lorraine ( both of whom were with me on a messy picnic in WSM 2 “ The Great Outdoors ” ), Eve and Melanie, both of whom I have already mentioned in previous instalments of my memoirs, Wendy and Dianne. Wendy was happy getting messed up every way - Wetlook, Slapstick and Mud. In one set she, with her friend Jeanette, were dressed as nurses who were supposed to give me, their patient, a bath - not too difficult, you would think, but I pulled them both into the deep soapy water with me and soaked their uniforms. “Look what you’ve done to our panties” they said, hitching up their uniforms “they’re so wet you can see through them!” I wanted to soak them some more but, they kicked me out and spent the rest of the session playing with each other – now that wasn’t fair! Great pics though! They also both appeared in a slapstick scene, fighting over me with all sorts of slop – it’s a while since girls fought over me!! [ Ed. This was the ‘Jealous Wife’ set S004 with 35 images. ] Mary and Lorraine Both Mary and Lorraine enjoyed getting messed up in every way too and, after some training by me, appeared in several photo shoots and some of the films. Lorraine was a loud mouthed, boisterous girl whereas Mary was quieter and much more sexy. In the WSM 2 film they go with me on a picnic and Mary, who was playing my girlfriend, goes off to buy some eggs from a local farmer. I’m left alone with the busty Lorraine who ‘accidentally’ spills tomato soup down her own white top and into her generous cleavage and then blames me!! She forces me to mop it up “... before it stains..!” I set to the task with some enthusiasm until Mary returns and angrily demands to know what we’re up to. I stammeringly try to explain while Lorraine chuckles and Mary says “ Stain! That’s not a stain..... now this is a stain! ” and then pours the rest of the soup down Lorraine's front. This, of course, starts one almighty battle and I get well out of the way but take pictures with my camera. Now this is no ordinary picnic – I mean there were no sandwiches or dainty sausage rolls. Instead, from a TARDIS like picnic box came a seemingly never-ending supply of custard, puddings, jams, syrups, flour, beans and numerous other messy foodstuffs as well as the giant trays of eggs that Mary had just bought at the farm. I kept well out of their way, discreetly taking reel after reel of photos, as they stripped each other and carried on plastering each others bodies with gunge. Lorraine was the stronger of the two and poor Mary was well and truly trounced. Even so they both happily mooned at the camera bringing the picnic to an end. [ Ed – This scene is WSM 2 – ‘ The Great Outdoors ‘ Stream 2 ‘Messy Picnic’ ] Suzanne ( more as promised ) Actually, I won’t tell you anything about the session of what has become one of WSMs most popular sets – you must (yes MUST) see the pictures for yourselves. What I will say is that Suzanne especially asked that we do this set – just me and her – and that she wanted to dress up (and get thoroughly messed up) as a very sexy French Maid. We didn’t object to that! She also said that she particularly wanted to get her own back on me for the things I had subjected her to in all of the previous sessions. I didn’t object to that either. As always she looked delightful. Mike had provided a French Maid’s outfit but, unfortunately, he had bought one a size too small! Suzanne brought her own black knickers, suspenders, stockings and some very erotic black patent, high-heeled shoes. She had decided not to bother wearing a bra and the sensational, short fantasy outfit barely contained her. We didn’t disappoint each other. Suzanne knew, from experience, that I am the master when it comes to messing girls up and I knew that she had been a highly exceptional pupil. But I’ll say no more – just get the pictures as soon as you can; I guarantee that you will not be disappointed. [ Ed. Actually, these pictures are Image Set S038 and were last reviewed on15 March 2013 with 5 sample shots and 162 images. ] I briefly mentioned Dianne and I will relate my mucky and depraved meeting with her in the next instalment of my Memoirs which will also include explicit details of some very raunchy sessions with Sandie, Sue and Shakina. Next time Professor Treacle continues his Memoirs recalling his encounters with girls who demanded a more raunchy slapstick experience – “Intimate Mess” |
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